A key scene from “The Man I Love” is set to the German hit “Love is a strange game” – and perhaps that would almost be a more appropriate title. Because the new film by “Passages” director Ira Sachs repeatedly revolves around this unpredictability of love, which can provide comfort but can also blind you. However, the actual title – named after the world-famous song by George and Ira Gershwin from the 1920s, which also plays a prominent role in the film – is similarly appropriate.
Either way, love is at the center of this incredibly tender drama, in which songs don’t just add to the mood. Again and again, the songs also function as comments or formulas of longing. However, this gently gliding narrative is undermined by the main character. “Bohemian Rhapsody” Oscar winner Rami Malek really gives the monkey some sugar as an HIV-positive actor. It fits the role, and anyone who celebrates a lot of exalted acting might see it as an award-worthy performance. Nevertheless, one sometimes wishes that he had oriented himself more towards the other cast members.
Actor Jimmy (Rami Malek) is loved – often tenderly, as here.
New York in the 1980s: British-born Vincent (Luther Ford) moves into a shared room directly below the apartment of the dazzling performance artist Jimmy George (Rami Malek). A passionate affair develops between the two men. Jimmy is actually in a relationship with Dennis (Tom Sturridge), who sacrificially cares for his HIV-positive partner. Although Vincent is repeatedly warned to be careful, he plunges headlong and, above all, unprotected, into intense sexual adventures with his older neighbor.
Meanwhile, Jimmy is a local star as an actor. He is revered in his scene, even though hardly anyone outside of this bubble has seen his New York underground films. Now he is preparing for a comeback and perhaps his last role. After a long absence from illness, he wants to be on stage again. With his experimental theater group he is working on a live stage version of “Il Était Une Fois Dans L’Est” – a queer French-Canadian film from 1974 based on the work of cult author Michel Tremblay. But can Jimmy still master the central role as a drag queen if he increasingly suffers from memory gaps?
The art of repression
Jimmy’s sister Brenda (Rebecca Hall) warmly thanks Dennis for how devotedly he looks after her brother. For them, the returned joy of life is a moment of hope. As a viewer, however, you already suspect that this situation will not last. When her husband Gene (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) wants to discuss the possible next developments in the disease because he wants to prepare his son for the expected blow of fate, he is cut off. This repression runs like a common thread through the film.
The characters know or suspect that happiness is not stable. This makes them focus all the more on the moments of lightness and joy of life that come with social gatherings. It’s always outstandingly beautiful how Sachs celebrates seemingly small moments, but at the same time hints at the tragedy on the horizon. Love becomes particularly intense in scenes like this in this tender, romantic film, precisely because its end is already noticeable.
The Rami Malek Show
These moments are sustained by the understated acting of the actors. “The Bear” star Moss-Bachrach hardly has any dialogue, but in his few moments he says an incredible amount through his body language alone. Tom Sturridge, known among others from the Netflix series “Sandman”, and new discovery Luther Ford are convincing as men who love Jimmy in very different ways: one is caring and aware of the grief in the future; the other impulsive and physical. But although “The Man I Love” begins and ends with newcomer Vincent and he is something of a guide through the story, in the end “Mr. Robot” lead actor Rami Malek dominates everything.
Sachs seems to have given the actor complete freedom to portray this colorful character. In many moments, the exaggerated and mannered portrayal suits this character, who seems to be constantly performing himself. To the outside world, this Jimmy is a nobody – he hasn’t even made a “real” film (by which we mean a Hollywood project), the brother-in-law once remarks. But in his little bubble, Jimmy is a star and that’s how he behaves. He clings to his fragile little bit of fame. But then Malek’s own performance always shines through (too much). He is visibly trying to play the artificiality of his character, but in doing so he brings too much theatricality into the film.
Desire as repression
This clashes with the otherwise mostly understated production. Even in louder scenes, Sachs says a lot in passing. A club sequence in which Jimmy and Vincent first act unleashed and erotic on the dance floor and then have quick sex on the toilet is one such moment. In the foreground are the electrifying images bathed in blue light. At the same time, the topic of repression is immediately present again. Vincent knows the danger, but he doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge it – perhaps he even finds it romantic to put himself in mortal danger for his amour fou. This scene is also symbolic of how the film deals with AIDS.
For a long time, the illness is not discussed directly, but is instead visible in warnings and, above all, in the self-sacrificing care with which Dennis organizes Jimmy’s medication every week. Sachs leaves his audience a similar decision as his characters: You can always be aware of what will inevitably follow – or you can ignore it for as long as possible and enjoy the time with Jimmy, which is about love and physicality, about his art and music and the last gathering of a community. Only towards the end does the director no longer allow this repression, when “The Man I Love” foregoes subtle storytelling for the last time in order to set the big stage for Rami Malek.
Conclusion: With “The Man I Love”, Ira Sachs made a tender film about love and repression. It is beautifully staged and unfolds great emotional power as an AIDS drama that is defined little by the disease itself. However, Rami Malek’s very mannered portrayal comes to the fore so much that it overshadows the subtle nuances.
We saw The Man I Love at the 2026 Cannes Film Festival, where it had its world premiere in official competition.