You can tell that there is a culture war going on when social media trolls, egged on by the diverse cast of “The Odyssey,” deny Christopher Nolan any quality of craftsmanship, but at the same moment not only applaud Uwe Boll for his dull, hateful outbursts of racism, but also jazz up his trashy Billo trash “Citizen Vigilante” into a cinematic masterpiece. Although “his biggest fan”, after all the richest man on the planet, has almost certainly not even seen the film. His team may have put “Citizen Vigilante” on X for free for 48 hours, but there is no statement from Elon Musk himself that actually refers to the film or even a specific scene.
Anything against immigration? Maybe somehow forbidden? This is celebrated blindly! But of course, despite its relatively blatant call for xenophobic violence, “Citizen Vigilante” was neither censored nor banned; it only took three attempts to get the desired 18-year-old approval from the FSK. The same thing happened to critically acclaimed works like “The Sadness.” But the details apparently don’t matter, nor does the cinematic quality – because to classify them, you really don’t need much more than the creepy-green color grading of the opening sequence. What’s left are two or three (unintentionally) amusing scenes and the feeling of having to take a shower after the credits roll.
Armie Hammer celebrates his comeback with “Citizen Vigilante”. There are currently contradicting statements regarding the question of whether he now regrets it.
The American Sanders (Armie Hammer) has inherited a real estate company in an unspecified European city (filming took place in Zagreb) – and also works as a dark avenger: While he is being celebrated on social media, the regional Interpol boss Henry (Costas Mandylor) is already hot on his heels. But Sanders is not only prepared to murder, in his eyes, immigrants and effeminate left-wing judges, he also has no mercy for the police officers who storm his villa…
The 15 minutes are already over
Uwe Boll’s 15 minutes of Kulturkampf fame are now almost over. He himself may be dreaming of big plans for the future after an unprecedented interview marathon in predominantly right-wing populist media, but after the publication of the sequel, “Citizen Vigilante 2: The End Of The Somali Scams”, which is planned under the clumsy, provocative title, no roosters will crow anymore. Used and spat out, and our pity is limited. “Citizen Vigilante” will only be useful as an object of psychological studies in a few years, after all, Uwe Boll’s so-called “Germany in Winter” trilogy is a perfect public real-life example of how people usually slip online, unobserved and anonymously.
“Hanau” was at least an attempt at a psychogram of the right-wing extremist, racist gunman – but apart from the protest from the Hanau city administration and mayor, in the end no one cared. So what followed was “Run”, a film that probably falls under Uwe Boll’s idea of “ambivalent” and already sprinkled in the first dull agitation against refugees, but also takes a somewhat clear stance against the vigilante Americans who are causing a bloodbath in the deportation camp. This time too there was little attention for the release, except from the first right-wing populist portals, which picked out the elements of the film that suited them – and in the case of Tichy’s Insight even gave Uwe Boll a guest author role. So “Citizen Vigilante” was just the logical next step.
45 minutes of film stretched to 1.5 hours
Before the viewing, I had already noticed the description of the four or five central scenes on social media – but when I watched it, I was still surprised that “Citizen Vigilante” actually only seems to consist of these. In the current discussion about the question of whether Armie Hammer has now distanced himself from the film or not, the anecdote from the Hollywood Reporter’s cover story is repeatedly mentioned, according to which the script was only 50 pages long (otherwise 90 to 100 pages would be the “normal” length for a 90-minute film). However, the extra pages weren’t missing; the film is actually only 45 minutes long – the rest is uninhibitedly extensive filler material.
When the SWAT team storms Sanders’ villa, we see the special forces drive completely across the city in their tank-like vehicles for a miserable fifteen minutes – and when a body is carried out of an apartment, we also feel like we are following the porters through the entire stairwell. Imagine a “Tatort” episode in which we see the detectives driving there in silence in the car for ten minutes before each witness interview. The man next to me said to me in between: “If you’ve been making films for 30 years, you should have at least picked up something by chance.” But Uwe Boll once again teaches us otherwise!
Please line up nicely
But not only does the heavily armed unit take forever, it’s also the dumbest SWAT team in the world. Sanders has built a bulletproof metal box in his living room from which he can fire two machine guns in exactly one of four directions. But instead of stepping aside, the SWAT members calmly position themselves in view of the gun muzzles so that Sanders can mow them down one by one. Once again, Olaf Ittenbach (“Chain Reaction”) was responsible for the gore scenes – and because he apparently had the effect just lying around, one of the police officers’ entire face explodes off, even if it doesn’t match the weapons used at all. But it doesn’t matter anyway – and that also applies to the criticism of immigration policy.
In “Citizen Vigilante,” the world’s worst news anchor rattles off some Thilo Sarrazin memory statistics in a completely monotone manner even when she’s “breaking” reporting on a ten-murder massacre. And the judge, who raves about the fact that the perpetrators in the case of a gang rape would actually only be victims, is only acting as a man-made straw man argument with his unbelievable right-wing fever dream argument – also to justify a final massacre of a family from Syria. I was a little afraid of it based on the descriptions in advance, but the mass murder was filmed and acted in such an underground manner that it didn’t even trigger anger.
Blowjob in the shade of the mold
So apart from the much ado about rubbish discussion of the last few weeks, “Citizen Vigilante” only has two or three short moments with a bizarre entertainment value: When Sanders explains the consequences of their actions to a trio of teens who are fare evading with a capitalist lecture about the price of bananas, even that is nowhere near as absurd as the scene in which the vigilante landlord suddenly only concentrates on the moldy spots on the ceiling while giving a sex worker a blowjob can. One could almost laugh if Uwe Boll didn’t underline once again with his perfidious dedication to all victims of migrant violence that all the nonsense being spewed out is actually meant to be deadly serious.
Conclusion: There is a difference between telling uncomfortable truths and clumsy, xenophobic bullshit – neither the stupid and rarely stupid “Citizen Vigilante” nor Uwe Boll seem to know it (or care about it in the 15-minute glory bath of right-wing populist applause).
PS: Who would have thought just a few weeks ago that a review of “Citizen Vigilante” would ever appear that didn’t focus on the return of the canceled Armie Hammer? We truly live in strange times.