“”You’re interviewing who? Do you know what’s been said about her?” Looking down at the blue sheet of paper where I had written her name, I felt scared. Everyone around looked at me as if I had comitted a sin, as if this girl didn’t deserve to be interviewed. Was she really that bad?
“She’s a little slut,” one girl said.
“She thinks she’s all that because all the guys jock her,” said another girl, who looked at me with disgust just because I would be having some kind of contact with this girl.
“She’s fine but babies don’t go with me, what a waste,” said one guy, shaking his head from side to side.
Then I began to wonder if it was a good story. Was I going to waste my time interviewing a low-life girl with nothing to say?
When I finally met her, I was surprised. At 19, though she already has two kids, she is indeed beautiful. Maybe that’s why the other girls didn’t like her, they are jealous.
I decided to be totally honest with her. “I have heard a pretty good amount of negative things about you but I’m willing to listen to you and write about your story to the best of my ability,” I said.
She kind of rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t judge me until you know me.” She was upset.
I felt awful about myself. I knew it was a mistake to start the interview out that way. I apologized and promised to hear her out. I also promised not to use her name, so she wouldn’t have even more shame heaped on her. I’m glad she was still willing to talk to me, because she had an amazing story to tell.
“It’s so hard to remember… it hurts me to look back on some of the worst years of my life. I’m adopted. My parents didn’t want me as a child, maybe because I was ugly or because they were too young to raise me. I don’t know why, because I have never been able to meet them. I often wonder how they look, how they act.
I grew up with a lady and a man who I swore were my real parents. When I turned 14 years old, they explained to me who they really were. I felt very upset at the fact that they had lied to me all these years. I became sad, confused and sour towards life. I was a child in need of help, but I sought it in the wrong place.
I moved out with my boyfriend when I turned 16. I was free. I was my own mother and father and I had Walter, who I thought I loved so much. I was going to school but things started getting rough. Walter was 21 and he worked a lot. I always went to the apartment after school so that when Walter came home there was food and a clean place. I wasn’t a cheerleader, I didn’t play in the band, I wasn’t in any clubs, I didn’t do anything. I never went to any of the football games nor did I go out with any friends because I really didn’t have any and Walter said I couldn’t.
I felt lazy and unable to relate to any of my other classmates, so I dropped out of school in the tenth grade. I had nothing to do but wait till Walter came home. He hinted that I should find some place else to go.
Walter was really mean to me all along, I guess I was just too stupid to see that he wasn’t a boyFRIEND. He treated me really bad. He used to hit me a lot but I felt that was all part of going through good times and bad times. I didn’t know what it was like to have a guy tell me I was beautiful.
I visited the health clinic at my old high school a lot. The first time I went in, I felt like crying. The posters on the walls scared me with phrases like “get tested now for HIV, it can save your life.” What if my boyfriend had AIDS?
Then my pregnancy test turned out positive. I started crying. The nurse put her arms on my shoulders, explaining to me that there were other options like abortion. I went off on her because of her “other option.” Never, I will not murder anyone, I can’t, I cried. She told me how young I was but I told her I didn’t care.
When I was three month’s pregnant, I decided I would leave, just like he said. I moved in with a cousin who really helped me out a lot. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I understood that I was only a child having a child but I thought about my real parents and their decision to bring me into this world. Although at times I felt hatred towards them because of how awful my life was, I respected them for letting me live, for giving me a chance to live, to see the trees, the sky, the rivers and flowers. I knew if it was one thing I learned from them, it was to give a child a chance to live.
I didn’t have an abortion and if I had to do it again, I would make the exact same decision. My only regret is that I have lost my childhood. I didn’t get to have the fun a teenager usually has, like going out to parties. Then I think of my little girl and I feel better. I also wish there was some way I could contact the parents who brought me up, to let them know I’m alright.
My cousin’s neighbor babysat for me and I went back to school. It took me me three solid years to graduate from high school but I did it. I met my husband my senior year. He was on the track team, like me. I really do love him for everything he has done for me. After high school I married him and had another baby, this time a boy.
I was 19, married with two kids, a little apartment, and a job that paid me nothing. Although my husband was doing well, I wanted to do my part as well, so I’m taking college classes now. I think I have a lot to be proud of; my kids, for one thing, and I’m really making something of myself.
I just want to say to all those young ladies, and girls, that if you’ve had an abortion, you have denied the life of a human being that could have been a great asset to our world and because of you, it has vanished like a puff of smoke, like it never existed.””