You Can Have A Blast At Nightclubs —but be careful out there

“I didn’t always love dancing. When I was in my early teens I was too self-conscious to let loose. As I got older, though, I saw how much fun everyone was having. They were so uninhibited, it enthralled me. I knew I couldn’t keep myself away. I guess that’s why I love dancing now. All rules of etiquette are thrown out of the door. There are some rules of course—ones that are bound by law, but generally dancing is for letting loose, shameless flirting and innocent fun all rolled into one. The second you stop, the old rules return. It is as if nothing has changed and more importantly, nothing has.
This is why I was excited to go to a club that night. It was a new medium. I had attended just about every type of party: flyer parties, raves, parties that didn’t end until days later. I had boogied through every school dance. I wanted something different. All of my friends had been to nightclubs, and they told me how cool they were. Someone I knew even worked as a go-go dancer. Everyone had told me how much fun it was, and how good-looking the guys were. They also told me some not-so-great things—the guys can be pushy and if you don’t keep up your guard, they’ll take advantage. But I was ready. I thought it wouldn’t be much different than any party, so I ventured out with two friends. We took into consideration the groping guys but knew if anything were to happen, we would be together.
I walked up the lighted steps and entered the dance floor. At first there weren’t very many people there. But by 10:30 p.m., the place was packed.

I noticed a girl
Amid all the dancers, I noticed a girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes, cute, she didn’t look much like a club frequenter. She and her friend were dancing when two guys came up to them. The guys looked like they knew each other yet they approached the girls separately. The men looked to be in their late twenties and the girls didn’t look a day over sixteen.
The girl began dancing innocently with her partner yet he kept pulling her in. He would lift her skirt. She would let it fall. After he put her leg around him four times, she left it there. She had given up, she didn’t see any harm.
At this point I turned to my friends and said, “Sheesh, they’re getting a little close,” gesturing at the couple.
“Yeah, well, everyone gets a little freaky at this club,” my friend replied.
I continued to watch the couple as he persuaded her to do things she didn’t seem too comfortable doing yet went along with anyway. Then he put her on the floor and they didn’t look like they were dancing any more. I couldn’t see the girl’s expression and it worried me some. I turned toward my friends. Both of them sneered, “Gosh, get a bedroom, already,” and, “This is a dance floor, not a motel.” Then we left to the restroom.
A little bit later we returned and the couple was still going at it. The girl seemed to be struggling. When she finally broke free I saw that she was crying. Her clothes were untucked and unbuckled and her angelic face was smeared with mascara and embarrassment as she ran off the dance floor. What had happened? I felt puzzled and guilty. Why didn’t I do anything to stop it? But then I didn’t know. It looked consensual until the end. If it had really been an assault, wouldn’t I have known while it was happening? Besides, I couldn’t watch them the whole night, I had my own problems.
After watching the couple, I was dancing with my friends and out of nowhere I felt someone freaking me from behind. I turned around to see a man in his twenties. I began dancing with him facing forward yet he firmly spun me around and began freaking me from behind again.
For a second it was fun but then I could feel the man getting aroused and suddenly he got aggressive. He tried to lift my skirt but he could see I just wasn’t having it. He was getting way too sexual. Disgusted, I pushed him away from me. My friends and I moved to a different spot.

We got separated
In the process, we got separated from my friend Lisa in the crowd. Meanwhile, it kept happening. Several men in their 20s danced on me until they were aroused and then they tried to undress me or just come on me with my clothes on. I felt like some sex toy just there for these men’s amusement. I was annoyed—but when I pushed them away, they did back off.
About five minutes later, my friend Lisa found us. She looked upset. We asked her what had happened and she told us.
As she was following us, a guy grabbed her and began dancing on her. She danced a bit, to be polite. Before she could get away, another guy, and friend of the first, came in front of her. They had her cornered. They groped and raised her skirt, but she held strong and got away. That is when she found us.
This was the last straw. It was only midnight, but we had to get out of that place. During the drive home we related our experiences. Rosie was burned by a man smoking a cigarette. Lisa told of the men who approached her. I told of mine. It was strange how although we were together almost the entire evening, we were oblivious to each others’ experiences. All of a sudden I realized how a girl could get in trouble in such a crowded place. You are always told never to be alone with a man you don’t know—always to go to public places. But sometimes public places can be just as unsafe and lonely. Especially a public place like a nightclub.
Afterwards, I felt really confused. I felt a little weird about the way some guys manhandled me. At the same time, I did have fun, and I didn’t ever feel like I lost control. I could always just walk away from anything I didn’t like.

The aftermath
I contacted the club to mention my concerns and I couldn’t believe the reaction I got. I was invited down for a personal interview with the owner. They really took me seriously, especially the part about the girl who might have been assaulted.

Teens need to know
what to expect
I was nervous about this interview. I didn’t want an article about my observations to keep teens from going nightclubbing. At the same time, I think teens need to know what to expect when they go to a club.
The owner of the club sat down with me in his office and said he couldn’t understand why I hadn’t come to him right away. I tried to explain that it never occurred to me to go to the owner of the club; it’s not like a crime had been committed, as far as I knew. I mean, what was there to report? That’s why I decided not to include the name of the club; it doesn’t seem fair to damage one club’s name when I’m not really sure if I saw a girl get assaulted or not.
He said that he had never had any reports of serious assaults happening at the club, adding he would take immediate action if anyone at his club had a problem with anyone. “It is unfortunate when anything occurs that crosses anybody’s line… We have a very low tolerance for people invading other peoples’ privacy… that’s why we have so many security guards on duty… We want everyone to have a good time.”
He explained that he has numerous guards at the club on weekends, along with several patrol cars and motorcycles. He stated proudly that his security policies not only result in the expulsion of anyone who is acting inappropriately, but also prevent gang members from entering the club and keep minors away from drugs and alcohol. All guests are frisked to avoid any weapons, and you have to show ID to get to the area where drinks are sold. “You don’t see them drinking in here… we keep it drug-free,” he said.
He noted with pride that his club is a place where youth can have fun. “Where are kids supposed to go?… Kids get to express themselves… if they’re gay, straight or undecided… [This club] is a safe place for kids to come out and have the wildest time that they can have, playing by the rules.”
He chuckled as he described how teens try to keep others from knowing that their parents gave them a ride. “These kids have their parents drop them off at the donut shop across the street.”

He invites concerned parents to come in and check it out
He also said he encourages concerned parents to come on in and check out the dance floor so they know exactly what goes on. Once he took a Russian couple into the club. “They almost had a heart attack… [their daughter] didn’t look like she was going to dance that way when she left the house… They wanted to go down there and take her out… I convinced them to come into the office and sit down [and wait until she got home]… I explained to them what they would be doing if they embarrassed their daughter in front of her friends.”
The owner seemed to care about what goes on in his club and although he may not be completely aware of all that goes on, he feels his club is a safe and fun place for teens.”

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