<< Turning our lives around

Print This Post

Talking about my family problems has helped me with my drinking

By M.V., a 15-year-old male

 

Illustration by Izuriel Marquez, 16, Chavez Learning Acadmies, (San Fernando)

What did you expect your placement to be like before you got here?
They gave me a deal to choose whether I wanted to go to trial or plead guilty and go to placement. I asked my lawyer what placement was and he said it was to get treatment. I expected it to be better than juvenile hall or the camps.

What was your experience like at first? Was it hard to adjust to how strict it was?
It’s very structured. They control what you do every single day. Wake up, eat breakfast, do chores, get ready for school, line up, walk to school. After school you have group, snacks, activities, showers, dinner, homework, 30 minutes then go to bed. I’d get in trouble for dumb things like I’d ask for something and not get it and I’d get mad and start cussing at staff and then they’d give me standards, which are things we write over and over, and I’d get mad about that too. They have standards for everything! Talking during lobby standards, responsibility standards, failure to follow directions standards, etc.

Now I’m getting used to it. I’ve adjusted to what to do and what not to do. There are 18 kids per dorm and there are three staff and they have to supervise all 18 so it makes it easier for them if we follow the rules.

How is it different from what you thought it would be?
They told me that they would see me in six months and see how I was doing so I thought I’d just be here six months. The judge said, “I’ll check up on you in six months.” It was for a review, not a release date. This program ranges from 18-14 months and I’ve been here 11 months.

Do you feel like placement is helping rehabilitate you?
Placement is treatment. Here they help you understand what you did and how they can help you in the future. I’m bettering myself so I won’t do it in the future.

One thing they teach you is talk about your feelings. One thing I’m doing right now is the life timeline, which is all about your life. When I write it, they read it and they ask questions. That way they know what I was going through, which is the reason why I did what I did to get me here. They teach you how to deal with those situations in better ways.

They have a drug program here that I completed. The main one for me was drinking. I drank hard alcohol almost every day. I used that because I felt distant from my family because I hardly see them. I have a brother and three sisters. They were in other foster homes. We were all separated. Alcohol was a way for me to avoid feeling lonely and isolated. They encourage us to talk about our feelings, to journal it and get it out in positive ways instead of negative ways. They recommend going to a friend and expressing how you feel. I’m doing that here in group therapy. In group we talk about things we struggle with.

One Sunday my dad came and visited me for the first time for a while. He had just gotten out of jail. We started talking about his alcohol problem and how it triggered him to do drugs and that’s the reason he went to jail. He said he had thought he had it under control. He’d have at max two beers at a time but eventually it escalated to stronger alcohol and he ended up doing drugs. It’s making me think that having alcohol in my life at all isn’t a good idea because it could trigger me like it did with my did and I’ll get in trouble again. I still get urges to drink. Sometimes they come when I’m about to go to sleep because I have nothing else to do but think.

Would you rather be on probation at home or at a placement?
That’s a tough question. I know I should be at placement but I want to be at home so I can be with my family.

Do you think the juvenile justice system is fair and helps rehabilitate youth?
Yes. There are kids in juvenile hall who are there just to do time. They don’t get help, they just do their sentence. But I’ve seen it work for a lot of people here. I think treatment should be available to most people and it’s their decision if they want to change. Kids are still young, they can still change.

Many people if they knew your record, would judge you. Do you consider yourself a bad kid?
No. No one’s born bad. Everyone is born into different circumstances that cause them to do things. I was born into poverty, my mom was a druggie and used alcohol a lot, and I was in and out of foster homes. In foster homes there are other foster kids there and they were doing alcohol and drugs and that’s how it was introduced to me. Right now I’m being taught the correct way of doing things that I didn’t get from my home like I was supposed to.

What are your goals for the future?
I want to finish high school and go to college and start a career. It’s easy to get credits here. I was three months into ninth grade when I got arrested so I had zero credits. I’ve been here 11 months and I have 95 credits. I’m ahead in credits.


l
The strict program and counseling have helped me control my anger

By J.C., a 15-year-old male

What did you expect your placement to be like before you got here?
I expected it to be like a house with four to five kids. I thought you would be able to go out whenever you wanted to.

What was your experience like at first? Was it hard to adjust to how strict it was?
It was pretty hard getting used to how strict it was. When you first arrive, you get some privileges like a late night and snacks and that’s basically it. The next week if you do good you can stay up and watch TV, get an extra late night or video games, stuff like that. If you work up enough trustworthiness they take you on a store run and you can buy things. If you don’t do good you have to go to bed early.

How is it different from what you thought it would be?
It’s a lot stricter. You can’t go out and you have to be on a certain level for privileges. You wake up for school at 6:15 a.m. to go to school every day. You also get standards if you do something wrong. You write the whole paragraph and then you have to write it over and over as many times as they say. It can be for vulgarity, messy locker space, arguing with staff.

Do you feel like placement is helping rehabilitate you?
I think it is because it has treatment programs. We have group therapy and anger management. In group therapy you talk about something you’re struggling with or something you think you’ve been doing good. You have everyone there at one time helping you. A few weeks ago I talked about my mom not being in my program and people related and gave me feedback. It helps me because I have someone to talk to if I’m feeling down. If I was feeling upset or sad, my parents would tell me, “We don’t want to talk about it now, go up to your room.” It would just get me madder and make me angry. Talking, I can get it out in the moment and cool down right then and there instead of bottling it up and exploding later. 

In anger management you learn skills that can help you control your anger, like distracting yourself, not focusing on it, doing something to exert your negative energy in a positive way like sports. If you got angry during the week you could talk about it and they could help you realize what you did wrong and help you for next time. I didn’t think I had anger but I found out that I had a lot of anger and resentment toward my adoptive situation. It was all bottled up.

Would you rather be on probation at home or at a placement?
I don’t know because here I’m getting help and can talk to peers and if I was at home I might fall back into the same negative ways. But I’d like to be at home with my friends.

Do you think the juvenile justice system is fair and helps rehabilitate youth?
I think it is because it gives you another chance instead of going straight to camp. It’s a chance to show that you want to get help so you won’t redo what you did.

Many people if they knew your record, would judge you. Do you consider yourself a bad kid?
I don’t think so because at least I’m trying to change and be a better kid.

What are your goals for the future?
My goals are to graduate high school and graduate college.