“If you want to know what Romeo and Juliet is all about, think Shakespeare on drugs in hell.
Romeo and Juliet is a must-see. It stars the very gorgeous Leonardo DeCaprio and the very eloquent Claire Danes as the star-crossed lovers. They speak in Old English, but everything else is new. The Montagues and Capulets are battling gangs of mafia. the Capulets are the Latino Mafia in cowboy boots and the Montagues serve as a quasi-Italian mafia in Hawaiian beachwear. The friar, who marries the couple, ends up being more than a religious nobleman; he adores herbs and grows opium in his backyard. While the two families fought with swords in the original, they ar now flirting with automatics and drive-by shootings.
Strange? No, it’s original. How many versions of this classis feature drag queens and Romeo on LSD?
Leonardo plays an excellent example of the lover-boy hound, raging with testosterone, lusting after an innocent underage virgin. (Isn’t that statutory rape? Or maybe he was just desperate. I have a problem with the basic plot. I almost got a B in English because of Shakespeare and I’m still bitter.)
After all the lusty dialog, I was expecting some steamy stuff from old Romeo. But if you must know, I didn’t even get turned on by his pathetic little sex scene. Please, a sex scene without a flash of Leo’s tush? Come on! My male friend said it was only fair to give us more of Leo, since they showed that much of Claire.
Nobody had done Romeo and Juliet so funny, zany, twisted and unfeminine as this. The admission ticket may not get you a strip show with Leo or Claire, but it’s a great co-ed movie.”
