“Interview with an Abuser: “”I Don’t Know Why I Hit Her””
“It’s not your fault if you are being abused. And don’t try to abuse them back, or abuse anyone else. Just dump the monster and get on with your life,” said a 14-year-old who hit his girlfriend.
“*Names have been changed.
At 14, *Dan has already had his first girlfriend. Their four-and-a-half month relationshipwent okay, except he hit 12-year-old *Amy.
“I don’t know why I hit her. It just came naturally to me,” said Dan, who is 5’6″ and weighs 110 lbs. while Amy is tall and thin, according to Dan.
Hitting was just part of the abuse. In the worst case scenario, Dan knocked out one of Amy’s teeth.
“She just told her mom that she fell or something,” Dan said. “She got it fixed.”
He hit her when he had a bad day
He also put her down and threatened her, all for minor reasons, according Dan. When he received a bad report card, he hit her. When he had a bad day, he hit her.
“I didn’t get any pleasure out of hitting her but it did release my anger and give me power,” Dan said.
Their relationship ended last month when Dan’s mother, who babysat Amy, witnessed the two kids hitting each other.
“Amy usually doesn’t do anything when I hit her, but that day she hit me back, and my mom saw it. She didn’t let us see each other again,” said Dan, whose mother herself is divorced from her abusive ex-husband. He also said his mother didn’t reprimand him.
“My dad’s OK, I guess. I like him a lot, even though he hit my mom,” he said.
Since his relationship with Amy, Dan hasn’t gotten involved with anyone. Although he contends that he doesn’t have a problem controlling himself, Dan plans to get help if he abuses his next girlfriend.
“I think I’ve changed since then. It’s only happened once, and I hope I won’t do it again,” he said.
Dan advises those being abused to leave the relationship.
“It’s not your fault if you are being abused. And don’t try to abuse them back, or abuse anyone else. Just dump the monster and get on with your life.””