Essay Contest: Virginity
Essays on virginity.
“I don’t regret
Losing my virginity
$50, First Place
Celine Ramillon, 16, Palisades High
“Do I look different?” I asked myself as I looked in the mirror the next day. Not a bit, I thought. I had lost my virginity the night before. The only thing I regret about losing it is how I did it—drunk, piss drunk. I remember two things about that weekend. First, him asking “Should I get a condom?” and second, the horrible pulsating sensation in my head as I awoke the next morning.
I don’t regret losing my virginity. I feel that if someone is horny and wants sex at whatever age, they should go for it. Virginity, to me, is not all it’s made out to be. I haven’t changed, I haven’t been perceived differently by other people, I don’t have a sparkle in my eye now, and I am not a whore. I do realize the risks I take when I have sex (STDs, pregnancy, etc…). All I have to say to all that is, we’re all going to die someday. If it’s because of sex, so be it. I’d much rather die from sex than be a virgin and shot in the head.
The only thing I really watch out for now is how a guy treats you before and after sex enters into a relationship. What I’ve noticed happening to me and many of my friends is the girl thinks she’s in love and the guy she’s sleeping with loves her and they’ll live happily ever after. WAKE UP ladies!! The common reality of this situation is that he’s thinking “She’s so mine, I can do whatever and she’ll still be here, she’s sprung, I’m getting some.” He’ll walk all over you and you won’t let go because you think you’re in love and that’s all that matters. In my mind most guys are trash. Usually when a guy is between the ages of 15 and 19 he has only one thing on his mind (besides sports): SEX. I’m not saying that this is true for all guys. I have met some true gentlemen, they just don’t come around that often.
A while ago before I lost my virginity, I was told “Childhood, like virginity, once lost, is never regained.” It’s true, but unlike childhood, I don’t miss my virginity. My overall thoughts on virginity are very clear and simple: NOT A BIG DEAL.
Who is Mr. Right?
$20, Third Place, Alberto Lopez
A girl can hold on for the right man, but here’s the question: when is he coming? I think the answer is “never” because we guys make mistakes. For example, while we are dating we give flowers, or something that makes the girl special. That is a big mistake because after time passes, we forget to get them and they’ll notice that we don’t do those special things anymore. They’ll end up leaving us.
Hey, there’s only one chance, and if you mess up you will lose. There are no winners. I don’t care how wonderful sex is. If you get pregnant you’ll end up receiving welfare. You’d better have a father for that illegitimate child. I’m talking to all the girls to not give themselves easily.
We broke up because I didn’t want to have sex
$30 Second Place
Regina Vilensky, 17,
Sherman Oaks Center for Enriched Studies
I’ve always had crushes. I knew that society expected me to have a relationship and oh boy, did I need it! I wanted the confidence these boyfriend-life-possessing girls had, the high air with which they carried themselves. I wanted to not have to answer for the zillionth time the question “Why didn’t you go to Homecoming this year?” Moreover, I thought having a boyfriend would solve my stresses at home—hey, he could just come, take me away, and I wouldn’t have to stand things I didn’t like. I felt like my family kind of expected me to be somewhere out there on Friday nights.
As it turned out, the boyfriend I got did not care about family problems. After a couple of months of sex-free fun I was presented a “bill”—did I really think all that niceness was for nothing? We broke up in a few weeks. The funny thing was some people thought we broke up because we had sex. On the contrary—it was because we didn’t. I was depressed yet happy I got out of that relationship the same way I entered it—a virgin. Then I met someone else, a guy at my work. Even though he got a bit upset when he found out I was under 18, he still expressed interest in a relationship and said that he really liked me. Then one day on the phone he asked “Have you ever had sex before?” When I said no, he replied “Well, that is nothing to be ashamed of.”
I never thought one could be ashamed of not having sex. I never thought of losing virginity as a trend. At first I was so upset, I thought well, if that is the price I need to pay to be popular, maybe virginity was not all that. I went completely insane inside my own mind. I actually considered losing it to someone I didn’t even like so I could be happy and others would approve of me. Note, this is not some troubled high school dropout speaking. This is a straight-A student with a 1400 SAT score.
It took a lot of cooling down to realize just how much of an idiot I was. Which problems would sex solve? What would it prove? Exactly who is going to come up to me and say “I think you are cool because you had, well, you know.” But I know exactly who would come up and call me a slut—everyone. Myself included. No one would blame it on a guy, and I agree with that. Unless of course it is a real rape, a girl should have as much control of the situation as a guy, and if she lets things happen, it is assumed she knew what she was doing, even though that is not always the case.
I realized something so basic yet sometimes so hard to admit. The whole idea is to go after your feelings (of love, not lust), not to give yourself up in order to be liked—it doesn’t work that way. If a guy has sex with a girl the first week that they meet—what else will he want from her to continue the relationship? He doesn’t know her well enough to like her personality, and he has already gotten what he wanted in the first place. He will not stay—why should he?
True love or true friendship is infinitely more important than popularity or pure satisfaction of animal instinct. And if that love is there, sex will also be joyful because it should bring not guilt but joy to all partners.
Thus I am a virgin. I am not going to say I will stay that way until I am married. If I meet someone whom I will trust and whom I will love so much as to share this love in a physical sense, I will do it. But it will only happen when I am ready for it, when I feel that I can look the world in to the eyes after it, and when I know both of us will not be miserable but very happy afterwards.
I don’t want kids or an STD
Honorable Mention
Carmela Barton, Birmingham High School
When I asked myself “Why am I still a virgin?” a lot of answers came to mind. First, I don’t like kids. I have big dreams for myself and I don’t need some screaming brat dragging me down. Another is “sex is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” With all the diseases such as AIDS, herpes, gonorrhea and other STDs, who could think of having sex?
I always pictured my first time as something special, romantic with someone I love and trust, not in the back seat of a Pinto or on the couch in my living room with someone I just met.
I think guys have it easier when it comes to sex. Guys give each other high fives and cheer on when one of their friends “score.” Girls are called “hoochie,” “tramp,” “ho,” “slut” and other names by other girls.
Why am I still a virgin? Because I want to hold the dice until it’s safe for me to play. I don’t want to risk everything I have for one cheap thrill. That’s why I’m still a virgin.
Sex and teens do mix
Honorable Mention
Travis Hendrickson
I think that sex and teens do mix. Why, you might ask? Because it’s been happening.
Some people might not agree but that’s too bad. I think that losing your virginity to girls is a lot more crucial than to guys. On TV and movies, that’s what they show. That’s kind of how they advertise it. But what I don’t get is how parents go on talk shows all mad about how a young girl got pregnant and then you find out that the mother had her daughter when she was even younger. I say it’s her problem. She did it, let her pay the consequences.
I don’t plan on changing anybody’s thoughts about the subject. All I hope is that there isn’t ever over-population as long as I’m here. If losing your virginity means getting pregnant, having kids and going on welfare then it just sucks.”