Brynn’s analysis of sexism in advertising

By Brynn Holland, 17, Cleveland High School
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Brynn Holland hopes to make the world a kinder, more just place.


The music was blasting and people were dancing. Club hoppers pushed my friend and me from all sides. All of a sudden I felt someone up against my butt. I stopped dancing and turned to see a guy standing behind me. I stared at him and he stared back innocently. I said "No," and he gave a shrug like "What? Why are you upset?" and disappeared into the crowd. Guys were coming from every angle thinking it was okay to put their hands on me. Eventually my friend and I danced with our backs against a pole to keep our butts from being stared at or grabbed.

It was a really uncomfortable and hostile situation. Boys were staring at the girls like predators eyeing fresh meat. The music rang with lyrics about beating, slapping and even killing women.

My friend and I stuck it out for as long as we could, but by 11 p.m. we had had enough. Regretting that we had each spent $10 on the cover charge, we left.

"I feel so gross," my friend said.

"I know. I need to take a shower," I said. I put my hand in my hair and brushed it backwards only to find something wet.

"There is spit in my hair!" I said.

"Ewww!!!" my friend screamed. I grabbed a tissue from my bag and started wiping the gloppy mess out of my hair. I didn’t want to put the tissue down in my friend’s car so I held on to it by the very tip. My friend was going to make a right turn and I asked her if she could pull up close to the curb so I could throw the tissue into a trash can on the corner. As I started to roll down my window, two guys on the sidewalk started yelling things.

"Yeah, roll it down! What are you up to?" They shouted. My friend sped away.

"I should have thrown the spitty tissue at them," I said.

"Are they serious? That was so lame. Do they ever stop?" My friend said.

We stopped at a restaurant before going home, and I washed my hands so many times that they reeked of lemon freshness. When I got home I took a shower. I love to dance, but as long as the club scene degrades me or anyone else, it just isn’t for me.

This experience really was a reality check for me. I felt so helpless and lost in that club and I realized that no one there knew I was feeling that way and probably would not have cared. It made me wonder if anyone would ever understand. Why can’t I be treated with respect? Why can’t everyone?

All I am asking for is a world where people of every race, sexual orientation, class, gender and so on, can come together to dance, talk and be merry. To me, that’s what it means to be a feminist. Yet if I were to tell a person walking down the street that I was a feminist they might ask, "You’re a man-hater, aren’t you?" "Why are you so angry all the time?" "Don’t you think you’re overreacting?" "Are you a lesbian?" Feminism has a really bad rap in today’s society. Why? Because it challenges what this society is based on—oppression.

At Cleveland High, I am in the humanities magnet, which focuses on social justice in our junior year. Having supportive people around has affirmed me and made me stronger. I know I can’t do it on my own.

Our program helps us look at everyday things in a different way. One day we watched a video called Dream World, which depicted media messages about women. One part that hit home showed a Prince video and other rap videos. I watched Prince dance with two women and throw them to the floor and pull them around by their hair, actions that people brush off as for "artistic purposes" or not that big of a deal because "Prince really is a great guy." Then, the screen flashed to The Accused, a movie that tells the true story of a young woman who was gang raped. I watched a man slam a woman up on a pinball machine and pull her hair and rape her. The actions were the same, and the Prince video looked exactly like a rape scene. It was a hard thing to watch. Even if you closed your eyes, you could still hear the rape scene going on. It hurt. I sank in my seat. "This is reality," I thought. "This actually happened." I was angry and upset that these rapes happen, and music videos encourage them.

But I was also happy that we were all learning about this frightening reality. Just by becoming aware, we were working to break it down. My friend two seats over was crying. I reached my hand over to her, and she grabbed it. My friend needed me and I was there for her. We had an understanding of each other’s pain.

Females and males alike walked out of the video screening with tears in their eyes and pained expressions on their faces. It was obvious how wrong it was that music videos were making money off of a woman’s worst nightmare.

Afterwards my friend gave me a hug.

I knew he was a big rap music fan so I asked, "Are you paying attention? I mean is this affecting you?"

"Yeah. It’s been an eye opener." I could feel that he was just starting to see how hard it is to be a girl in this world.

Sexism is everywhere


At my junior class’s car wash, some of my classmates jumped around on the corner in bikini tops to lure in passing cars. Guys were driving by honking, revving the motors of their 4Runners. My heart sank. Why would my classmates allow themselves to be degraded like that? Couldn’t they see that their actions affect all women? Did they want men to rule over women? The girls were saying—I’m eye candy; I’m here to please you. The guys were saying—I own you. I felt so mad and frustrated.

I didn’t tell my classmates to put their shirts on, but I told them they shouldn’t have taken them off, and that was the best I could do. I didn’t have time to stand there and explain to them how their taking off their shirts was oppressive and could lead to women being abused and raped.

I know some people might say there’s no connection between a teenager in a bikini and the abuse of women, but it’s all about domination. Men are constantly bombarded with messages telling them that women are there for their pleasure. Women are bombarded with messages that they should do everything they can to please a man, and a teenager on the corner in a bikini is reinforcing that. We all breathe in this stuff every day and we don’t even know it. That’s what makes it so hard for people to see why we need feminism.

I wish people understood the fear that many women live with. When I walk down the street guys stop what they are doing to stare at me. I just want to hide. I feel so violated. It makes me hate being me, being a female. It is really uncomfortable to walk past someone when you know that they are staring at you. Why do I have to fear for my life, my safety?

I’m glad I can ask these questions. Instead of blaming myself and apologizing for the way I dress or the way I walk, I can be angry for being treated that way. I can see that when men whistle at me, they’re the ones who are wrong, not me.

I’m glad I can see what’s really going on in girls’ magazines like Cosmo Girl, YM and Seventeen. Those magazines teach us to scrutinize everything about ourselves and then learn to hate ourselves. But it’s done in such a secret way we don’t even realize it, with articles like "10 tips to make him really fall for you" and "Five ways to make your hair really shine!" Who says that my hair has to shine or that it isn’t already shiny? Why do I need a guy to fall for me? I’m planning a party with my friends where we are going to rip out magazine ads and send them back to the magazine with a letter explaining why they are so hurtful and offensive.

Sports magazines tell boys to act macho (whatever that means) and be buff. Why do all boys have to like sports? What if a boy doesn’t like muscles? What happens to a boy who decides he likes art, is that not macho?
And then there’s TV shows like Friends, which force men and women into narrow gender roles instead of letting them be who they really are. All the women are thin and pretty. They play parts that make them appear to be stupid, neurotic and emotional (like that’s a bad thing). All they seem to care about is men. The men on the show are really into porno and sit around in their La-Z-Boy chairs watching TV. In one episode everyone makes fun of Ross for wearing a pink shirt. Why can’t men wear pink? In another episode Ross tells his friends that he likes to take bubble baths and listen to Kenny G. Joey turns to him and says "We’re 29. We’re not women." Why can’t men take bubble baths? It hurts everyone when stereotypes like these are reinforced.

I’m glad I can filter out some of these messages. I know boys who like bubble baths, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t have to judge them for it.

I’d rather connect with friends


It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even watch TV or read magazines. It’s too disturbing. I’d much rather sit and talk with my friends. I like hearing what people believe, even when we don’t agree. We work to understand and appreciate each other.

To me, that’s part of what it means to be a feminist. Feminism is not just a political position. It’s the way I live. I try to stay aware. I stand up for myself, because otherwise people will control me. I speak up when something bothers me. I evaluate myself and everything I’ve been told and strive every day toward true equality. I ask myself, am I playing into the stereotypes?
Little things can be a struggle, like what to wear. Once I was out on my school’s quad during nutrition. My shirt had a zipper down the front, and I had it zipped partially down. This boy zipped it up and said, "Getting a little skimpy there, Brynn?"

I zipped it back down.

He said, "Yeah, that’s the feminist way!"

I said, "First of all, don’t touch me. Secondly, don’t tell me what to do or what the feminist way is."

But looking back, I admit my shirt was low cut. I know I dress that way because I’ve been told that I should show skin and be sexy. I wear tight jeans, spaghetti-strapped tank tops, shorts and the like. I can’t free myself from all the messages about how girls should look. And sometimes I get confused, but I can’t blame myself for all of society’s problems. I’m not perfect. I guess what is important to me is that I know why I am dressing in a particular style.

I don’t know why some of my other classmates don’t embrace feminism. That completely baffles me. Especially when I see women treated so badly everyday, it would be nice to have more people on my side. Sometimes I feel like I’m battling the world. It is exhausting at times, but when a person says "I never thought about it that way," it makes everything worthwhile. I’m taking small steps, such as publishing this article. I’m president of Women In Today’s Society, the awareness club for men and women at my school. I also plan to make Cleveland the first LAUSD high school to have a subchapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW).

I hope that one day I will wake up and everyone will understand each other’s pain, but I know that won’t happen. This is why feminism is still relevant today. The way women, people of color, homosexuals, disabled, elderly, and so many others are made to feel less than human is not natural nor necessary. I just want to live in a world that recognizes and celebrates everyone’s individuality. I don’t hate men, I am not angry all the time, I am not overreacting and I do want to be taken seriously. I am a feminist, aren’t you?