“She didn’t deserve to die
First Place $50
Michelle Miller, 17,
North High School
I have never been in an abusive relationship before but I have witnessed one of my friends getting hit by her boyfriend, and let me tell you, it is almost like being in an abusive relationship yourself. When I saw my friend being hit, I felt the pain for her. I saw her self-esteem become lower and lower. The bruises left on her body were visible signs of hatred and pain.
When I asked her why she continues to stay in a relationship with him, she replied, “It was my fault he hit me. I was asking for it. I deserved it.”
“No, you don’t deserve it,” I said. “No person deserves to be hit. If you love somebody, do you show it by hitting them?”
My friend is no longer here on this Earth. The last time her boyfriend hit her, he broke her neck and killed her. The thoughts that were going through my mind were unspeakable. She did not deserve to die. How could a human being treat another human being this way? How could he continue his life knowing he killed his girlfriend?
By witnessing this event it has helped me with my past and future relationships. I am now able to read the abusive signs, and now I know to stay away from it. I have been real lucky not to have ever been in a situation like that, and I want to tell the girls (and guys) who have or are being abused that it’s never your fault. Get out now before it is too late.
That sweet-talker was not so sweet
Second Place, $30
Name withheld, 17,
Eagle Rock HS
It all started about two years ago. I was 15 years old. I met this guy who is my ex now. He was all I needed in this world, or so I thought. He would sweet-talk me and treat me good. We met at a party in Los Angeles. We were nine months into the relationship when his attitude started changing. He made me stop talking to my guy friends. He told me that I would die before I left him. One day out of nowhere he started yelling at me “If you ever leave me you’ll be by yourself because no other guy will love you because of your ugliness.”
Me being the fool in love, I believed him. Anything he said, I would do. He knew I would do anything for him not to leave me. He took advantage of it. One day I caught him with his ex-girlfriend. I asked him why he was with her and the answer he gave me was “If I’m always with you, I’ll get bored and I’ll leave you.” He knew I wouldn’t let that happen so I let it slide more than one time. He was the most jealous guy I ever met.
One night we went to the Santa Monica pier and this guy was looking at me and my boyfriend went crazy saying “Who was that? Do you know him? Why is he looking at you?” I didn’t know who the guy was and my boyfriend didn’t believe me and he started getting mad and started shaking me. I was getting scared because at this point he was capable of doing just about anything. That was the night it all ended. He threatened to throw me off the pier. On our way home he tried to apologize, but it just made it worse. I was scared of him. I had realized that my life was more important than love. So I dumped him. It took almost a year to recover from the pain I went through, but I was glad that I ended the relationship before I ended up in a coffin.
Now when I go out with a guy, I take good precautions. I think back and I regret spending 10 months of my life in hell. I did nothing but treat him right and all I got was threats. It will take time before I let myself fall in love again and it’s just too bad because the right guy might be here for me, and the incident that I experienced will make it hard for me to love him.
“”I thought he loved me””
Third Place, $20
Sonia Lujan,
Culver City High School
“If you’re not going to be mine, you’re not going to be anybody’s,” or “Say you won’t break up with me and I won’t hit you.” That’s what my ex-boyfriend said. I was in a relationship for about two years with a person I thought loved me. In fact, I thought he loved me a little too much. Somehow I managed to break up with him, but for breaking up with him I suffered serious consequences.
It all started one Friday morning when I said I wanted to break up with him. He got very upset, threatened to hit me and started calling me all kinds of names in front of my friends. Fortunately, he didn’t hit me. The next day I got a restraining order against him. I knew if I didn’t, he was going to do something serious to me. When he got served with the restraining order papers, he started harrassing me, threatening me and making constant crank calls. I was even afraid of going out of my house, thinking he would be waiting for me. So I filed a report for harassment and when he found out, he fled to Mexico because he had a warrant for his arrest. A month later he came back and started harrassing me again. I called the police on him and he is now serving time in the L.A. County jail for harassment and violation of the law.
This is only a brief summary of what happened to me. I tell my story to those of you who are in the same situation as I was. It’s not right for a relationship to go on like this. If you find yourself in the same situation, tell someone. If you keep on with this dangerous relationship, your life could end.
She put me through mental and emotional abuse
Honorable Mention
Ronald Gonzalez
Belmont High School
I was in an abusive relationship for about two years. After realizing and finally listening to my family, I left the relationship. The abuse I went through wasn’t physical abuse but mental and emotional abuse. I have never experienced any type of physical abuse so I wouldn’t be able to say which one is worse. To me mental and emotional abuse are terrible things that no one should ever go through.
In my relationship, my partner told me that she loved me, but at times she treated me as if I were a stranger. For every argument we had in the time of our relationship, I was always at fault. As time went by, I thought that it was my fault that we always got into fights. Every time we split up, I believed that it was my fault. To her, I didn’t understand her or care for her. I tried my best to make her happy, but the harder I tried, the more she complained that I was hurting her feelings.
I was sprung (in love) with my significant other. Every time we broke up, I felt like the world was ending. I became dependent on her mental abuse. At times, I didn’t feel loved because she wouldn’t try to put me down. I didn’t see them as put-downs, but as ways of her expressing her love for me. I became a really weak person with low self-esteem. I would do anything that she told me to do. I gave up my friends for her, and in return she told me that she didn’t appreciate what I had done. To her, me giving up my friends didn’t mean anything.
It is rough being in a relationship that your partner has control of, especially if it’s a woman. It’s not that I’m being a male chauvinist, but you always hear how the one that is being abused is the woman and the man is the abuser. Up until this day, I still love this person a lot, even though I’m not with her anymore. I might not be completely over her, but you could give her credit for brain-washing me this well.”