What’s an abusive relationship?

How far is too far?
Any relationship in which someone feels afraid or controlled has gone too far. Name-calling is too far.

What are some key hints that this isn’t the person for me?
There are many warning signs. Someone who is telling you what to do. Extremely jealous or possessive behavior. Isolation— pulling you away from friends or family. A history of violence where he abused other partners.
Big mood swings.

If his dad hits his mom, will he hit me?
Possibly, because abuse is a learned behavior, but it can be unlearned.

How do you end an abusive relationship?
Keep important phone numbers with you at all times. Make a list of places to go to be safe. Keep extra money and clothes with someone close just in case. You can also get a restraining order from the police.

How common are abusive relationships?
Forty percent of teen girls know someone that has been hurt by partners. One third of teen boys and girls are victims of abuse.

Are guys ever abused?
Guys get abused, too. It can be very difficult for guys to come forward. It happens to everyone, but 85 percent of the cases are men abusing women.


What’s the first thing you should do if you think you’re in an abusive relationship?
Get to a safe place such as a relative’s house if you’re in immediate danger. Police can help you get an emergency protective order, which will be in effect for a few days. Make a list of your options. Victims can call Break The Cycle, where lawyers can give options and advice to anyone from 12 to 22 years old.

Staff attorney Tara Borelli of Break the Cycle said there are many reasons why girls stay in abusive relationships. "Some teens don’t realize that they’re being abused. Some teens think that being controlling is a sign of love. The cycle of violence is powerful. It results in low esteem so it’s easy to be controlled, and some teens can’t tell what a healthy relationship is because they have no good examples."