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If you answer yes to two or more of these questions, you are in an abusive relationship or your relationship is likely to become abusive.

• Are you frightened of your boyfriend or girlfriend’s temper?
• Are you afraid to disagree with him or her?
• Do you find yourself apologizing to yourself and others for your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s behavior when you are treated badly?
• Have you been frightened by his or her violence towards others?
• Have you been hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you?
• Do you not see friends or family because of his jealousy?
• Have you been forced to have sex?
• Have you been afraid to say no to sex?
• Are you forced to justify everything you do, every place you go, every person you see to avoid his or her temper?
• Have you been wrongly and repeatedly accused of flirting or having sex with others?
• Are you unable to go out, get a job, or go to school without his or her permission?
• Have you become secretive, ashamed, or hostile to your parents because of this relationship?


If you answer yes to two or more of these questions, then you are an abuser.

• Are you extremely jealous or possessive?
• Do you have an explosive temper?
• Do you consistently ridicule, criticize or insult your girlfriend or boyfriend?
• Do you become violent when you drink and/or use drugs?
• Have you broken your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s things or thrown things at them?
• Have you hit, pushed, kicked or otherwise injured them when you were angry?
• Have you threatened to hurt or kill them or someone close to them?
• Have you forced them to have sex or intimidated them so they are afraid to say no?
• Have you threatened to kill yourself if they leave?
• Do you make them account to you for every moment they are away from you?
• Do you spy on them or call them constantly to check up on them?
• Do you accuse them of seeing other guys or girls?

Source: In Love and In Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships by Barrie Levy