Hiding, Running, Searching, Finding

“My name is Marie Chavez. I am a woman, I am a daughter, a Latina, a lesbian and most importantly I am human.
I have just recently come out to my parents. I was hiding for quite some time. Hiding in fear that I’d be judged, I’d be thrown out both from my parents’ hearts as well as their home. So I lied, I ran, I was “straight” to them. But I knew I could not run anymore for the more I ran the closer I came to not knowing who I was.
I had a few friends over one night. The girl I was seeing was also there. Me and my friends were all outside in my backyard just listening to music. I had been hugging and kissing the girl I was seeing. My neighbor had been looking over the wall to my backyard and I had no clue. The next day my neighbor asked my sister if I still had a boyfriend and why I wear a rainbow bracelet. Well, my sister said to me, “So what guy were you kissing?” I then sat her down and said “it wasn’t a guy, I’m gay.” She looked at me as if those words had not come out of my mouth. I then said “I am a lesbian.” She looked at me, cried, ran to the restroom to throw up and then left. My mother saw her crying and being upset as she left the house. My mom asked me what just happened. I said, “Mom, I can’t hide anymore. I am a lesbian.” She said, “You’re pulling my leg.” I said, “No, Mom.” She then said, crying, “Does this mean no grandchildren?” I said, “Well, not that way.”
I was advised by my mom not to tell my dad—she would do it. The day she did, my dad’s attitude was different towards me. Me being a lesbian doesn’t ever come up with him. It’s like it’s not there. When women call me, I don’t get the message if I am not there. But if a man calls me, I know right away. Just little things like that I notice. I know I need to understand how hard it must be for my parents, having a daughter that is gay.
I have come to find there are a lot of people out there who do not understand homosexuality so they fear it. This past semester at school I decided I wanted to change the wrongful perceptions people have about gay people. I am president of the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Student Union at Rio Hondo College. I am also on the Associated Student Body. Within these two organizations there are ways to bring change and awareness.
I am an artist and through my art I want people to see that a woman can be in love with a woman and a man can be in love with a man. My paintings and poems interconnect the two.
I know I am young and I have still a lot more to experience. It is hard to be different from the majority, to be a minority, and most of all harder to be a triple minority (Mexican, a woman, and a lesbian). But remember: before you judge me, I could be your daughter, your friend, and most important, I am human”