Celebrating L.A. Youth’s 25th anniversary: Funny
We were at Victoria’s Secret hunting for the Miracle Bra. We both had seen it on TV, but it wasn’t enough. We had to meet it, touch it, smell it, experience it. When we finally found the technicolor display table, we eagerly secured bras in our sizes. Adele’s was pine green. Mine was barfy purple. In my dressing room, I tore off my shirt and Jockey bra with the force of a sinning priest. Snap went the Miracle, on went my shirt and out popped my eyes.
From “My so-called boobs” by Sherry Lee, 17, Whitney HS, September-October 1995
And if some girls are considered arm pieces, then their butts are trophies. There’s always that type of guy who needs a pretty girlfriend to boost his ego. Butts are no exception. Guys know that they will get props for their girlfriends’ nice booties.
lllll“A booty is like a flower,” said Joe Castellanos, 16. “The best booty gets the best guy … the best flower gets the best bee.”
From “Beautiful butts” by Ambar Espinoza, 17, University HS, November-December 2000
When you go to museums, you don’t get to laugh, unless it’s at the stupid paintings and how much they cost. The artist will put some blotches of paint on a canvas, give it some stupid name, and the painting will end up costing around $1 million. I don’t get it. Why do they do stuff like that?
lllllI could make up a painting with blotches of paint and call it some stupid title like, “Inside the mind of an L.A. Youth writer.” Then I would say some French guy painted it. And BAM!—an easy million dollars. That’s not art.
From “Why museums suck” by Howard Hwang, 15, Marshall HS, Fall Arts Guide 2001
I got discouraged because I couldn’t even get hired at McDonald’s. I felt like a loser and began getting desperate. I thought about washing cars, selling burned CDs, babysitting, pursuing an acting career or making a demo. None of those things would have worked for me though, because I was a talentless, underage, spoiled wimp of a girl who wouldn’t even wash my own car, so I knew I had to be more realistic.
From “Want to get cursed out and hung up on?” by Nicole Bryant, 18, Fall Jobs 2003
The teenage years are a mix of mature and immature behavior. The teens in these stories have serious and rational thoughts while also reverting back to childish humor. It’s the combination of sophisticated analysis and something that would make a 7-year-old crack up that makes these stories so great.
Like in “My so-called boobs,” the writer goes from talking about women being comfortable with the size of their breasts to being in a store and trying on the Miracle Bra. She and her friend keep going on about how their boobs have just expanded amazingly. “Where did my feet go?”
In “Beautiful butts” the teens she interviewed share stupid pickup lines but also talk about being respectful and not just spouting those lines to a stranger; they only use them with someone they’re familiar with. But some of it was dated. The first two words caught me off guard: “Step out Baywatch babes.” I’ve heard “watch out” but not “step out.”
In “Why Museums suck” it’s him being rude, like laughing at old people running into each other, but there are decent arguments between his comments about how museums suck. The fact that he got distracted so much during the article was really funny, like how the hot dogs were expensive or the tour guide was hot so he couldn’t pay attention.